Onkar was a boy born after four girls in ‘Guru Kirpa’. His arrival to this world had been much awaited. He was a child to the second son in the family. The eldest of his sisters was five years elder to him. His sisters loved him and enjoyed his company. He would fight with them, play with their hair and do amusing things. He was mischievous. He eagerly waited for the Raksha Bandhan. He savoured the attention he got then. Each of his sisters would come to him in turn and tie a rakhi at his hand. They would look to rag him in one way or the other but he enjoyed that. He loved the school and enjoyed his home work. He used to observe when his mother taught his real sister and wondered. He never needed his mother’s assistance at this stuff. He was a bright student.
All the cousins used to play together for the whole day. They enjoyed the companionship of one another. Their fights and cries kept the house lively. In the summers, whenever there was a power cut at night, all the members used to go out and sit together in the garden. The elders had nice little talks. The children would play hide and seek. In vacations, the whole family would go together on a trip. Besides, there were frequent picnics planned.
One night, the children were playing inside the house as usual. They were running around when suddenly Onkar tripped over a wire. One end of the wire was plugged into a socket in the wall and the iron was connected to the free end. The wire entwined around his leg and the iron melted his skin. His mother who was operating the iron quickly plugged out the wire of the socket. When he came back to his senses he found himself in the hospital with his cousins all around him. They had tears in their eyes, their faces looking yearningly concerned for him. They offered him sweets, juice and all that they normally used to fight for. They hankered for him to get well soon. He forgot his pain looking at the intense love of his cousins for him.
Onkar’s father loved the company of children. When it was impossible to make a child stop crying, he would just take it in his arms and the child would immediately rest at peace. Onkar’s chaachu would often hold his arms tightly behind his back with one hand and control his leg movements with the other. He would wriggle around with all his might striving to get free. It was his way of loving his nephew. His mother was nice to the children. His taya and tayi did not show much emotions and the chaachi was feared by all children, she was a monster for them. The grandparents were nice to them. The grandmother used to tell stories to them about the riots of 1984 and each of them used to get completely absorbed in that, feeling for the people who suffered. She used to make them sit near her and tell beads with the name of ‘Waheguru’ and all of them enjoyed. They would get a new sweet everyday for that. His Bua lived in Bombay. When she used to come from Bombay, she brought gifts for all. All children would sit besides her when she told stories about her place. She and her daughters were much sought after.
His mother was originally from the same city. She had four brothers. Three of them lived in Ludhiana and the forth one in Batala. Her sister was married in Chandigarh. She was the youngest of her siblings and there was almost a complete generation’s gap between her and most of her siblings. One of her brothers had not borne any children and the other had his sons already eligible for marriage. Onkar found company only with the children of his youngest uncle. The ones out of Ludhiana he hardly met. His maternal grandparents were too old to interest him. He was much more involved with his paternal cousins than the maternal ones.
Now god had blessed the family with two sweet tender infants, a girl to his chaachi and a boy to his tayi. The grandparents were elated at the arrival of the boy. Onkar had a brother at last. He was excited. But mothers of both were quite possessive about them. He could see them and play with them only under the supervision of their mothers and that too for restricted amount of time. The infants were the centre of attraction among the kids.
Days were going by, everything seemed to be normal to Onkar. Now he started noticing that every two to three days all the elder members gathered in his grandparents’ room and the children were sent out and the door was closed in front of them. He could hear voices coming out of the room as if some hot discussion was going on inside. He always wanted to know what went on in there but the kids were given strong instructions not to be seen near the door. Those days he often heard his parents discussing about some ‘kothi’, that it was big but built very old and other things about it, whether to shift there or not. Many conflicts were going on in his mind. ‘What does shifting mean? Were they to go to that kothi and live there? That’s what his parents were saying. But why the hell in this world were they to leave the place they were living in. They discussed that they did not want to leave. But then why were they talking like that. And who all were going to shift. Will it be the whole family?’ He was confused. He could only partly understand what his parents were saying.
Then one day his chaachu was going to the kothi. He pleaded to him to take him along. So he went to see what the kothi was. It was not too far from their house, just at two minutes distance on wheels. It was in Shakti nagar. The place was under renovation. There was a big garden on the left as we entered in the gate. The grass had grown wild and required attention. The building had turned pale from outside. As we entered the inside there were a good number of laborers working in there. He asked his chaachu in a low voice, “Are we going to live here”. There was no reply.
After a few days he was told by his mother to pack his bags. They were going to move to the kothi. “Why are we shifting? We are happy here”, he asked in an innocent manner. She had a clear petulance in her voice as she answered, “Yes, we are but your grandmother does not want us to be here any more. Not even for a single moment. Tomorrow is Holi and it is considered inauspicious to move to a new place at this time. But your tayi’s parents and her brother are coming tomorrow and she wishes us to leave before that. She wants to celebrate. At last she has succeeded in sending us out of this place. And to make things worse your chaachi is also accompanying us to assure that we do not rest in peace”.
The kothi was named Dukhniwaran. When they moved to Dukhniwaran, the renovation was still going on there and it took several more days to complete. Now he and his family were living on the ground floor and his chaachi on the first floor. The latter was always rude to his sister as well as to him, so they did not like to go up there to play. Her daughters, two of them though often came down in the evenings to play. He had accepted the harsh fact that their group had been separated. The same was the case with all other children. They loved each other’s company. They had not even thought of living without each other. They had cherished each and every day they were together. He missed those times desperately. There were once in a time family get-togethers. Besides that the children often went to each other’s place on bicycles or on foot but the frequency of both decreased with time.
His chaachi was an adamant, avaricious and egocentric person. On the other hand his mother was an ingenuous lady. She longed for warmth and affection among relations and wanted peace and harmony around her. His chaachi was at benefit leaving the older house. There was no check on her now. She wanted to direct the proceedings of the house and the actions of its people. She always wanted to dominate whenever a matter concerned with the house or its people was in question. But his mother was not one to be suppressed so easily. Who was she to command authority over his mother? If it was not in his mother’s nature to subjugate anyone, it also was not in her nature to get subjugated. As a result there were frequent disputes between the two ladies over small issues. For one it was a matter of ego and for the other it was a matter of self respect. From his point of view, he could perceive depravity in her chaachi’s character.
The Dukhniwaran was sold. They were returning once again to Guru Kirpa but only to wait till they found a new house and shifted there. Onkar was ten by now. This time he was happy leaving his home. He was returning back to the place he longed to go to, though only for a temporary phase. He was going back in the company of his much beloved cousins. When they had shifted there, he did not find the kind of environment he was expecting. He saw many disappointed faces as if his family was not welcome there. But all these thoughts vanished away as he saw his cousins. Now they were united again.
When he came back from school he used to finish his homework as quickly as he could so that he could play with his cousins. This time his younger brother, Asees provided him the company he wanted. Things went along like this for a couple of months. One day his mother was passing by his grandmother’s room. He was with his mother. Suddenly his mother froze to hear what was going inside. He heard his eldest cousin, Simran was pleading to the grandmother, “Grandma, when will they be leaving? Please make them go to their new house as soon as possible. My board exams are approaching and I cannot study in such chaos”. Grandma replied with an assurance in her voice, “The registration of the new house is taking time. They will soon be shifting”. He saw the expression on his mother’s face. She was red with anger and left the place at once. After that incident he could feel the change in relationships. He could feel the tension in the air he had never noticed before.
His family was shifting to ‘Sukhmani Niwas’ in Ajit Avenue. The early occupants had not even emptied the house when they moved to the place. Also there was a lot work of renovation to be done. This pointed to how much desperate his grandparents were to send them out of their place. He was looking at this house for the first time from the inside. Earlier his father had shown them the place only from the outside. Even his mother had not seen the place more than once. But she had decided to buy the place considering the fact that there was an empty first floor portion that could serve as an extra source of income later on. And after perceiving her mother-in-law’s reaction at what Simran had said, she wanted to move out of Guru Kirpa as soon as possible.
His sister studied hard and went out in the evenings for tuitions. So he had no company. He was left in solitude at home. In Dukhniwaran also sometimes he was alone but now it was almost always. He had no companions in the neighborhood so he could not go out to play in the evenings. He played alone. Studies kept him busy rest of the times. In course of time his mind was attracted towards his religion. He felt that God could become his true companion, one who would not leave him or who could not be snatched away from him like his cousins were. He felt that God was the one who could put an end to all the miseries of his family and He was the one who would fruit his sincere efforts with success. He was impressed by Sikhism and its ways. Many times he had observed that in situations where he felt completely helpless his true belief in God had seen him through. He thought himself to be very lucky that he had found someone whose presence gave him the courage to struggle against the toughest times. This was the best thing that had happened to him in life and it was preparing him for facing the storm that was about to surround him in the coming times.
Now, he was mature enough to perceive what was happening around him. He said nothing about anyone because he did not like to do so. He just keenly observed what was happening around him and why. He listened to what his parents said and related it to what he had noticed himself.
Once on Diwali, Onkar’s maternal uncles visited his grandparents. Coincidently, he was also present there. They exchanged wishes and there was a general talk. One of his uncles noticed a card at the side of the bed and appreciated the artwork done on it. Onkar had made the card for his grandparents on Diwali. He was absolutely shocked at his grandmother’s reaction that followed. She did not even acknowledge what was said. She instantly sent Asees, sitting besides her to bring the poster he had made as a class assignment and started praising him that Asees was also very good at art and that he had won a prize at school for his poster. Onkar’s heart was broken at this, though she did not realize what wrong she had done. It was something that was not deliberate on her part but it clearly pointed out that she was more attached to Asees. He did not react at the moment but he was hurt.
Onkar’s mother had unfolded her grievances to him. He was told how she and his tayi were treated by their mother-in-law before the marriage of her youngest son. They had to take care of their children as well as do the household work. She did not have any concern about them. She just wanted her work to be done under any circumstances. When all would be having their meals, she would do her prayers. Later, she had to be separately served the food and she wanted each of her chapatti to be made fresh, crisp and hot. At times they had to stand in the kitchen for long hours with an infant in one hand and doing the housework with the other. Then they had to iron clothes for the whole of the family. Sometimes if they were not able to iron them on a day, next day there was a huge pile of them ready to take life out of the two. Then their mother-in-law would suddenly appear and find an error or two in their work and ask them to iron her dress again. If they were to go out to some place and she was asked for baby sitting, she would refuse giving an excuse or the other. If she saw them sitting together in a party or moving out to the market with each other or talking to one another she suspected that they were conspiring against her. She feared that if her daughter-in-laws stood united against her then her powers would be curbed. So she adopted the policy of divide and rule. She conspired to their husbands that both of them were colluding against her. They had a bad time with their husbands after that. Now his tayi dreaded her mother-in-law and kept away from his mother. His grandmother was successful in creating differences in the relations. The latter could not help herself. It was in her nature to be dominant. She was a slave to power. To them she was nothing less than a tyrant.
He was told that his grandmother was not the same with her youngest daughter-in-law. This young girl, his chaachi had an affluent background. The mother-in-law who was mean and miser for her other daughters-in-law, extravagantly bought sumptuous jewelry and apparels for her new bride. This new bride was not a saint. The day she had entered the house, she passed a comment to her elder sister-in-law, his mother that the latter’s outfit for her marriage was not even comparable to that of the former. This statement of her showed the arrogance and recklessness in her nature. His mother wondered how would such a boastful girl be able to adjust to the way they were living. But to her surprise the new bride made it clear very soon that it was better not to expect her to do any kind of housework. The mother-in-law arranged for a maid to get her part of the work done. Now what was it? Was not the sense of equality afflicted here? Was this not a step forward towards creating differences in relations?
There were certain episodes from Onkar’s parents’ life that they often complained about to each other. These were not hidden from him too. How can he forget how his and his chaachu’s family was sent out of the house? He later came to know that the Shakti nagar house had been bought on his taya’s instructions. Then his grandparents had kept the condition for his parents that if they wanted to live in Guru Kirpa then his chaachu would live with them there and his taya would shift to Shakti nagar, or they could choose to move to Shakti nagar with his chaachu, and his taya would live in Guru Kirpa. In either case the grandparents would stay in Guru Kirpa. His parents held the view that going to Shakti nagar would atleast free them of the tyranny of his grandmother, so was their decision. They were given the assurance that the Shakti nagar kothi was a temporary settlement for them and that they would be allotted separate houses in due course of time. One must say that it was a well planned step taken by his taya to fulfill his own selfish means. He had managed to get others out of his way to become the owner of Guru Kirpa, a big bunglow in Mall Avenue, the place where the land price was touching sky limits. Now that Dukhniwaran had been sold, his family had shifted to Sukhmani Niwas and his chaachu had bought some plot which was under construction and soon the latter was going to shift there. For the time being the latter’s family was living in Guru Kirpa, on the first floor.
Onkar’s mother was presented the same ring in her marriage that was given to his tayi just because the latter did not like it. The latter was promised to be bought a new one. His father was sent to a simple local school whereas his chaachu was sent to a convent boarding school in Shimla. While the marriage reception parties of the two elder brothers were held in some kind of park, the one of the youngest was held in the most expensive hotel in the city. The furniture for the eldest son was made first, then that for the youngest with the reason that he was in much more need of it as he had a high society circle. And when it was the turn of his father, the work was done only after he was made to ask for it a hundred times. And this was not the only example of its kind. His father did not have a habit of asking for things so he was not given one when he needed it. On complaining it was said that he lacked the art of getting his work done. So the sense of equality was definitely not followed. Again it was the policy of divide and rule.
His grandparents’ rules were different for different members in the family. When his mother lived on the first floor in Guru Kirpa, she pleaded to them for getting the kitchen renovated. The shelves were made of cement and their surface had become rough and irregular. There were cavities in it at many places. Neither did it have good looks. She asked to get the slab made of marble. But the matter was always deferred giving one excuse or the other. But when his chaachi was to live at the same place during the time the construction of her plot was on, the kitchen slabs were marbled as well as the bathroom. Would it not widen the differences between brothers? Was it not a policy again to divide and rule?
The grandmother should have corrected Simran, her eldest grandchild when she asked her to make quick arrangements for his family to leave their house. But she did not. Does it not mean that his family was not as dear to her as was Simran and her interests?
Now his chaachi had shifted to her newly built house. There were rare family get-togethers, probably on some festival or some special occasion. Occasionally his grandparents used to visit his house. Time passed by. He was fifteen by now.
Onkar’s bua from Bombay had come to Ludhiana. There was some financial problem. They had decided to shift here. They had been included in their family business by his grandparents. Although the other family members did not wish that to happen, still no one raised a voice. How could they refuse the daughter of the family when she needed their help? His grandmother had special attachment with her daughter. The latter daily came to meet her and gave her the kind of company she was looking for. She was served by her daughter, was paid attention to and taken care of. His grandmother had missed all that, living with her sons. Though she only could be held the most responsible for that. She was the one to separate her own family. The policies she had adopted to be the most influential one in the family, may have left others dependant on her but she could not gain respect in the eyes of her sons and their families. She saw that respect in the eyes of her daughter. She had an increasing affection with her daughter. Her daughter would be seen with her in parties, in family meetings as well as the market. The former was involved in each and everything she did. As she lived with her eldest son she was attached to him too. But her other sons felt that with the coming of their sister they were left out and their importance had lessened in the eyes of their parents. It was a truth. When she was asked to visit their place, she would make some excuse. She did not wish to go there. But the very next day she was in good enough health to visit her daughter’s place. It was all a matter of what she felt. She was pleased to be with her daughter and not with her sons.
Till now there always had been an urge inside all his cousins to meet each other. In one way or the other all of them missed each other’s company. Whenever they met there were smiling faces. They longed to share each other’s experiences. The fact that all of them lived alone encouraged them to fill each other’s emptiness. But now his bua frequently visited Guru Kirpa. Her two daughters gave good company to his cousins. They no longer felt desolate, but he and his sister did. Now when the latter visited Guru Kirpa and if their bua’s children were also there, they felt left out among them. They visited the place once in a couple of weeks. On the other hand, every other day his bua’s children would be there. So, for the first time a gap had emerged between these cousins. On the other hand, his chaachi’s children had been cut off from their cousins the day they shifted to their new house. She neither wanted anyone in the family to visit her house, nor did she encourage her children to go to others’. She had sent one of her daughters to hostel and the other one did not see her grandparents more than once or twice in the year. So her daughters hardly had any attachment left with their cousins or their paternal uncles and aunts.
The business was still joint. The division was in question since a long time. After a debate lasting for years the matter of the houses was solved with the consent that the place where one was living belonged to him and no one owed anything to anyone. The papers were signed. The matter of business was still to be resolved. They were manufacturers of carpets. There was a factory and a shop. His father used to go to the shop with his grandfather and his chaacha and taya went to the factory. There was always one matter or the other that would cause a dispute between the brothers.
There was always mistrust among the brothers. The youngest brother had spent more money in building his new house than the limit that was set for him and his just elder brother. He had factory accounts in his hands. He was believed to have done some mischief with the accounts. Moreover, his standard of living stated it all. The eldest brother was believed to be helped by his father through some extra finances. He had got his elder daughter married and the expenses were shown to be much less than it actually accounted to. Also he had bought his own shop and had started doing his extra business somewhat related to carpets taking money on loan. Still he had as much share in their joint business as others. The brother just younger to him had no accounts in his hands. And even when he saw an opportunity to bag some money he did not. His inner self did not allow him to do that.
Onkar’s father was not happy within himself with the idea of division. He felt financial insecurity when he thought of it. He had the belief that someone out of them had his luck working for them. He did not have much confidence in himself. But he knew that the division had to take place and that it was good for all of them and their relations.
One day early in the morning there was a phone call. Onkar’s mother picked up the phone and was shocked to hear the news given by the person on the other end. She kept the phone down and burst into tears. Her brother had left this mortal world the previous night. His father was also shocked. This was not a natural death. The deceased had no history of severe health problems. This sudden death had left many people in dismay.
Onkar’s uncle’s cremation ceremony was held a week ago. There were rumors all over that the latter had committed suicide. But the question was why? He had a cheerful personality. He had an extensive business running on. His goodwill was pervasive in the market. He was an inspiration for businessmen. Why would such a person even think of* dying? Things began to become clear when creditors could be seen assembled outside his house asking them to pay off the debt. His sons had taken a lot of money from the market and suffered a huge loss resulting from their careless deals. He had sunk in the sea of debt. He did not have the courage to accept the truth. How could he face the people who used to give his example in the market, now pushing him for their money? He found a better way out. He killed himself.
.
Onkar’s father had recently invested his savings in his brother-in-law’s business. It amounted to about half a million rupees. His grandfather, his chaachu, his bua and his grandmother’s sisters had also invested their money. Almost every other well off family had put in their savings in that firm in hope of receiving a good interest on their money. Such was the name of the firm in the city. But now all the reality behind that false show was unveiled. But still they had enough property and jewelry as assets to pay off the debt. But the intentions of the sons were not good. They had no such ideas. Instead they asked for time from people to pay off the debt. They were not even ready to return the money of their bua, Onkar’s mother. They even delayed her.
His father was already feeling insecure financially and now after this incident more of his money was in danger. His patience had finished and when he used to get angry he used to mentally harass his wife. He would put pressure on her to ask her nephews to pay back their money.
All this time Onkar had been observing what was happening around him. He had got sick of these family problems. He had noticed that the root to all their problems was money. He hated the thing. But he knew that his parents would be happy only when they will be financially sound. If none of his paternal uncles were dependant on each other for money, then it may happen that they would completely cut off, but at least there would be an end to the bitter disputes. His father had lost his patience and had become short tempered. Onkar did not like the rude way in which his father talked to his grandparents. He hated when one brother envied at other’s success or coveted his property. He knew that his father lacked business skills and was unsure of his future. So, he had one dream to stand financially strong on his feet so that his parents would not have to ask even for a penny from his grandparents. He wanted to get his family out of this swamp. At the same time he wanted to soothe the relationships.
He wor ked very hard in studies. He made it to one of the best engineering colleges in the country. He had to move out of home for studies. Whenever he came home in holidays, he tried his best to improve relations between the members of the family. He used to visit his grandparents and give them love and attention. He had developed room for himself in a soft corner of their hearts. He met his cousins with wide smiles. But still he could sense the emptiness in the air when he went to Guru Kirpa. Certainly, things had worsened in his absence. The misunderstandings had increased. His parents did not talk any good of his uncles or his grandparents. It looked to him as if his desire to see all united again would remain a desire.
At the end of four years of engineering, Onkar had a handsome job in hands, in Microsoft. He went home. He could see the tears of happiness in the eyes of his mother. His father’s head was held high with pride. His sister was elated. He had always given assurance to his father not to worry about the future. That he would support the latter against all odds, that they would face the problems together with courage. It was the happiest moment in his life. He had freed his father of his tensions. He could see the peace on the faces of his parents. He prayed that peace would last forever. It was a touching moment.
He met his grandparents and sought their blessings. His grandfather could not hide his feelings and gave him an impassioned hug. At that moment he fervently wished that all those incidents that had spoiled the relations had not happened, that the whole family was united and would celebrate his success. But all that had happened was in no one’s hands. Each of them was correct in his own eyes but yet someone was wrong. He had to accept the poignant truth. The family had parted.
